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1. The author could have been traveling to an area that causes such a severe case of culture shock, it takes five trips to Whole Foods and the entire thirteenth season of Sex & The City to get over it.

2. The author may or may not have obtained an incredible (unpaid) internship with a magazine that they have been reading for years, resulting a desperate need for a contributor’s photo, and hours upon hours of blissful, fast-paced, dyketastic work.

3. God — or The Great Whatever — may or may not have finally looked over the author’s file and filled a huge wish, resulting in one of their favorite authors contacting them for assistance on an absolutely astounding new project.  Also, this project may currently be unpaid, which leads to…

4. A desperate, fear-filled search for new clients during a recession. Basically it’s like shooting fish in a barrel, if that a saying referred to punching yourself in the face.

5. An impulsive, cross-country move!

6. A severe headcold. Again.

Sorry I’ve been Jerk Ethic negligent. I have some good stuff going on, a bunch of which will translate into several killer posts soon, I promise.

If it’s any consolation, I am posting this out of complete, apoplectic anxiety, in fear that no one will ever read my words again, ever. That means you.

Nag me via email: AinsleyDrew at gmail dot calm.

I want a pony.

I want a pony.


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